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Coaching Resources

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    COACHES PRACTICE MANUEL (Prepared by Chris Crooms)



The Typical Football Coach

   The Typical Football Coach has one of the most thankless jobs in the World!
Don't try to call the Typical Football Coach between 7 am through 11 pm as they are already on the phone and have another call on hold.

Football is the only subject the Typical Football Coach will talk about to another person for 2 1/2 hours on the telephone.

The Coach will spend approximately $32.50 each month on long distance calls related to Team business.

If you do call AND the phone actually RINGS even once, you should hang up immediately since it means that he is:

A) At Practice, B) At a game, C) At a League meeting, D) At a Coaches meeting or

E) at the Sporting goods store buying something for the team that the league doesn't provide.
The Typical Football Coach has his spouse do all the grocery shopping. This is not because he doesn't want to help, it is because they can't!

You see the coach’s car is also the team's mobile equipment vehicle.

Helmets or Flags, cones, water bottles, footballs, tape, tools, etc. are cluttering up the trunk and backseat.

They would get the groceries but they'd have to add a roof rack first!
The Typical Football Coach has great expectations for their team. Even when their record is 1-6.

He also usually has that innate ability to find those four or five examples of how the team performed admirably during a 30-6
shellacking! Next year's team always has a "shot" at the Title, and sadly, but thankfully he actually believes the aforementioned.
The Typical Football Coach never says, "We're gonna stink next season", or "We're 1-8 and we're lucky we're not 0-9".

They never say we got beat 48-0 because we stink, and our best player couldn't sit on their bench.

And you'll never hear them say hey next year we're going to be 2-7!

Sadly, but thankfully, the typical football coach has an overactive subconscious that eliminates all fear of having the leagues worst team.

He knows all to well that success is not forever and failure is not fatal.
The Typical Football Coach shows up at the field 2 1/2 hours before game time and leaves immediately after the game foregoing a fun pizza party,

because they need to scout 2 or three other games in preparation for next weeks game.

On average the Typical Flag Football Coach gives 25 to 45 hours per week 4 months out of the year to their team.
The Typical Football Coach is: A) Harder on their kid than any other player, B) Softer on their kid than any other player, (It's 50-50).

The Typical Football Son of a Coach is: A) fortunate to spend so much quality time with his Dad or B) most likely to shoot him before the season is over. :)
The Typical Football Coach is always the first to arrive and the last to leave. This includes practices, games, scrimmages, team functions, BBQ's and Wedding receptions.
The Typical Football Coach passes all their experience(s) from playing football to all their players on the team.

This means your child is being coached by: A) a guy that warmed the bench or stood on the sidelines waiting for the Coach to put him in the game, or

B) those fortunate enough to truly have exceptional coaching skills built by years of hard work and endless coaching seminars.

Note: See team record to find out which one you have. :)
In all seriousness the Typical Football Coach is not rated as much on their personal success as a former football player,

but more on their communication skills, management skills and their effect on each player.

They honestly try to get each player to become the best player they can.
The Typical Football Coach will: teach your son many lessons far surpassing the game of football and truly have an impact on his growth and his future.
Parents opinions of the Typical Football Coach: A) What a great person, and good coach, B) What a great person, but he doesn't know diddly,

C) Maybe if I pretend to like them they'll play my kid more (add fake smile here), or D) They're idiots and they Suck!
The Typical Football Coach is a stickler for time. You must be at the field one hour and forty five minutes before game time.

This is not so much for you to be there on time, as much as it is so his stomach will stop flipping wondering where all his players are.

The Typical Football Coach will say "Post game meeting over there after the game for 5 minutes" If we won the meeting will be 30 minutes as we all revel in our glory,

if we lost it'll be 30 minutes as we relive all the mistakes the referees made that cost us the game, or some other excuse that sounds good at the time.

Well let's make it easy on ourselves, ALL post game or practice meeting will generally last 30 minutes, or until they shut off the lights at the field!
At the end of the season the Typical Football Coach gets a plaque and a modest gift for their 100's of hours of effort.

They probably don't get a Christmas card or Birthday card and certainly never get a letter of thanks.

But rest assured they will be approached by a disgruntled parent or two...........and it's part of the job.

The best of coaches try to eliminate this by getting playing time for everyone when they can,

and by being honest with the players and parents as to their child's abilities and expected playing time,

however, even that isn't enough at times........sad but true.
When it's finally over, and this years team has played it's last gam,e the Typical Football Coach usually gives one final speech.

And more often than not, their voices crack...... their eyes water up and you can now see just how incredibly important the boys are to them,

and that is the real reason they coach at all...because of their love for your child and team.
The Typical Football Coach is usually just a Dad, once in a while a brother or even a Mom and once in a while, the rarest of birds... a non-parent

Three Cheers for all you Typical Football Coaches!!!

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